The Modern Poisoners Society.
The Modern Poisoners Society walked off with the top prize at last night’s annual Pinocchio Awards, held at a glittering ceremony on a hillside in an Angus glen.
The judging panel, exclusively made up this year by members of the Modern Poisoner Employers Society, said the decision was unanimous, and universal.
A spokesman for the panel, millionaire Sir Gideon Marmaduke Sinclair-Clementine said: 'We are delighted to recognise the winners capability to fabricate stories, often in the face of what might seem to be blindingly obvious truths. The fact that we employ these truth-distorters had no bearing whatsoever on our decision. They are universally the best liars this world has ever seen, and that’s no word of a lie'.
A spokesman for the Modern Poisoners Society, Carbofuran Campbell said: 'It’s great to get such universal recognition. We’ve made up shit for years and it’s gratifying that it’s finally been noticed. Thanks very much'.
A spokesman for the Royal Bird Protection Society said: 'For f****s sake, they told us they would acknowledge us in their acceptance speech, the fact they didn't just shows what untrustworthy lying bastards they are. Raptor Persecution Scotland
This is where the above 'fun' stops and it gets serious.
Three appropriate images - don't forget to 'clik the piks' - all victims of the above members of the MPS, with a history of persecution and slaughter by people with dark and tiny troubled minds still living in the Dark Ages.
Buzzard. Gary Jones.
The excellent soaring Buzzard, thanks to Gary....
Golden Eagle. Antonio Puigg.
The stunning Golden Eagle, thanks to Antonio ....
Red Kite. Noushka Dufort.
And the brilliant Red Kite, thanks to Noushka